I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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