If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
