Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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