Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
