im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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