omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can Purell be used as lube?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
