If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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