I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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