16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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