I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
