is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
