Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
