So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
