everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The beer is more important than you right now.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Randomize
