Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
