WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
