My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I enjoy the company of your penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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