he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
