i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
