; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
