so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
