i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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