I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
