Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's always time for handjobs
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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