NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
