Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
