Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
