She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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