As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
