I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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