You smell like a Billy Joel song
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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