what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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