Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
pray to the hookup gods
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
