The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
