Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
