dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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