I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Vodka?
Forever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
