i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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