Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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