I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
