i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
