I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
