If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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