hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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