Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
