Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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