I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My dick has a subreddit
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
