i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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