i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
