I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
