Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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