That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
