What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
