Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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