i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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