i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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