I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
