p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
