My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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