I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
