i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
