You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
