This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
