Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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