Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
